As a Bethesda mental health counselor and mom of two teens, I try my hardest to support our kids as they navigate today’s tricky digital environment. I’ve taken all the steps I’m “supposed to” – parental controls, time restrictions. But still, I worry.
With all the bad news out there, I’m constantly grappling with the question of how much social media is too much. There’s also a constant feeling of guilt – the worry that I might be restricting my teens too much, competing with the fear I’m not looking out for them carefully enough in a dangerous digital world.
So, when I learned about the Maryland Kids Code initiative, it was such a relief. Finally, communities are recognizing that the responsibility shouldn’t only be on parents – social media companies also need to take accountability for their designs and role in our kids’ lives. We need to pass legislation that puts the onus on social media to design platforms with children’s safety and privacy in mind.
Monitoring everything teens do online is an impossible task, and I strive to respect their privacy. They aren’t little kids anymore. As a counselor, I know that total parental control is impossible to maintain and impedes healthy social and emotional development.
Even when we’re trying to give them a little space, parents still care fiercely about our kids and their communities. We don’t want any kid struggling with the problems that are all too prevalent these days – depression, anxiety, eating disorders, drug use or suicidal thoughts.
These issues often stem from the relentless stream of negative content and unrealistic standards kids encounter on social media. These platforms exacerbate disordered responses to timeless teenage insecurities – pursuit of perfection, obsession with body image and comparison to others.
And when kids are struggling, we still hear that common refrain: blame the parent for not paying close enough attention. In so many cases I see, that’s simply not the case. That’s why it’s so important that the Maryland Kids Code requires companies to design age-appropriate experiences for kids – by, for example, preventing an adult stranger with no mutual connections from sending an underage social media user a friend request.
My professional experience reinforces my belief in the importance of healthy social connection. As we saw so clearly during the pandemic, isolation can negatively impact mental health, especially among young people. Yet the cellphones, tablets and computers that are supposed to connect us can actually end up isolating kids, not only exposing them to danger but also leaving them struggling with feelings of inadequacy.
That’s such a shame, because the teenage years can be a time to do great things – to grow, explore and accomplish. But teens need a secure base from which to launch themselves into the world. My kids would love to feel like they had a safe space online – but right now, they don’t. They’re acutely aware of their exposure to digital risks, and when they hear about something bad happening to a friend or another kid online, it feels personal and threatening.
Moms will go to extraordinary lengths to protect our children. Our love for them motivates us to find creative solutions and then push them into reality. That’s why I’m joining parents across the state in calling for our legislators to pass the Maryland Kids Code bill. Nothing should be a higher priority for Montgomery County than taking care of our community’s children. They’re not just our future – they’re our present.
Gabriela Romo is a Bethesda-based licensed clinical professional counselor who hosts the weekly radio program “Hablando de Salud Mental” (“Speaking of Mental Health”) on 93.5 FM La Mera Mera.
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